2X11 Excelsis Dei

Writer: Paul Brown
Director: Stephen Surjik
Original Broadcast: AU: 10.05.1995 US: 16.12.1994
Episode Availability: DVD: AU CA UK US

Cast:
Special Agent Dana Scully · Gillian Anderson
Special Agent Fox Mulder · David Duchovny

Guest Cast:
Dorothy · Frances Bay
Stan Phillips · Eric Christmas
Jerry Tiernan · Jon Cuthbert
Hal Arden · David Fresco
Upshaw · Paul Jarrett
Mrs Dawson · Sheila Moore
Leo Kroytzer · Ernie Prentice
Michelle Charters · Teryl Rothery
Gung Bittouen · Sab Shimono
Laura Kelly · Tasha Simms
Dr Grago · Jerry Wasserman

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Mulder and Scully's latest case begins with the rape and battery of a nurse in a Massachusetts convalescent home. What makes it an X-File is her claim that her attacker was invisible. But upon their arrival, they discover that the unrest is not limited only to the live-in residents.

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Jerry Tiernan: "Hey, guess who died this afternoon? Mrs Richardson."
Upshaw: "Face plant right in a bowl of pudding."
Nurse Charters: "I don't suppose either one of you bothered to change her room?"
Jerry Tiernan: "Oh no, no. We left that for you."

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Hal Arden: "Gung said we could watch the rest of the fight."
Nurse Charters: "Yeah, well do I look like Gung to you?"
Hal Arden: "No, you got a better figure." [Gropes nurse]
Nurse Charters: "You want to keep that hand, Hal, you'd better let go."
Hal Arden: "How about a little sponge bath?"
Nurse Charters: "How about I take care of these wandering hands of yours." [Struggles to place Hal's hands in the bed restraints] "Come here."
Hal Arden: "You like strapping me down, don't you?"
Nurse Charters: "Oh yeah, I really get off on it."

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Scully: "Good morning."
Mulder: "Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine."
Scully: "Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."
Mulder: "Well, this definitely isn't mine." [Looking at screen]

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Nurse Charters: "Look, when you bathe somebody every day for five years, you get to know more about them than you really need to."

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Hal Arden: "You got to be kidding me. What do I think of her claims? I should be in the Guinness record book. I'm 74 years old. I've got plumbing older than this building." [Hal shows Mulder and Scully his plumbing] "And it doesn't work much better either."
Mulder: "Thank you for sharing."

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Hal Arden: [to Mulder] "Oh, I didn't mean to step on your toes there." [After propositioning Scully]

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Hal Arden: "I thought Nurse what's-her-name said she was rogered by a ghost. I may have one foot in the grave, but I certainly can't fly down hallways... spreading amore."
Mulder: "Apparently not."
Hal Arden: "If that's what it's like... if that's what it's like in heaven, lord take me now!"
Scully: "What do you think, Mulder?"
Mulder: "About the guy's plumbing?"

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Scully: "What if there's a connection?"
Mulder: "Between the rape case and the Alzheimers? You mean when they're not drawing childlike pictures, they're brutal sex offenders?"

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Mulder: "So you think that Michelle Charters was raped by a 74 year old schizophrenic."
Scully: "It's possible."
Mulder: "An invisible 74 year old schizophrenic..."
Scully: "Well, maybe it's not the medication, maybe it's the place itself."
Mulder: "Are you saying that the building's haunted? Because, if you are, I think you've been working with me too long, Scully."

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Jerry Tiernan: [to Stan Phillips] "What are you? Track star all of a sudden?"

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Dr Grago: "Just what do you expect to find?" [From the post-mortem results]
Mulder: "I'm not sure exactly."

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Scully: "Mulder, mushrooms aren't medication. They taste good on hamburgers, but they don't raise the dead."
Mulder: "Shamans have been using them for centuries to gain entrance to the spirit world."
Scully: "I think you've been reading too much Carlos Castanedo."